Wednesday
Feb222012

Excuses No More 

We have made them our entire lives. Excuses. We make them to justify why we don't or won't do something. I make them all the time. I'm too tired. I'm too busy. I just don't want to. I just read Wayne Dyer's book Excuses Be Gone and was inspired to do some work this month with ridding ourselves of excuses. 

He goes on to say that our excuses are created by our beliefs or rather our what we think are our beliefs. Let me explain. Picture your life as a large circle of events. We do this and get this result and until something changes nothing will change. What we believe is what we become, change that belief and change your life.

Excuses are what we believe not the real reality. Ever heard a child respond to the question of how are you going to do at the basketball game tonight? We will probably lose he says. To which you respond "well that's no way to go into a game thinking like that." 

But we do the same thing with our own life. We make excuses to why we are overweight, don't have the house we want, don't have the job we want or not enough money. We blame others or our current situation and circumstances but haven't you heard the news? We can change our current reality any time we want.

The question for you is do you want to change your current reality? If the answer is yes! Then you must change your beliefs and rid yourself of those excuses.

Becoming aware is the first step to making the change. We must first accept that we make excuses and then take action to get rid of the excuses we make that prevent us from living the life of our dreams. 

I will go into detail later about the principles that Dr. Dyer talks about but for now let's start the ball rolling with listing the most common excuses and their solutions.  Most all of these excuses are related to getting healthy, weather it be losing weight or just starting an exercise program. You can see how to apply these solutions to other excuses we make. This will help propel you into motion for changing your own life no matter what excuses you make. 

Read the excuse then immediately following is an affirmation that can be repeated several times to help begin the process of changing what you believe. Don't forget to take immediate action once you feel compelled to do so. 

ONE: It's too hard to start a workout program. 

I have within me the power to change my life. I am strong and ready to get started. I will let nothing stand in my way of reaching my fullest potential. I just need to start. 

I am an all powerful being with amazing capabilities. I can do anything I want to do. I just need to start. 

If you are losing weight just start. Start doing something, walking. It's not too hard to start walking. find a friend or family member and walk everyday in a near by park the energy you create will continue to motivate you to keep going. 

2. I've never been healthy before why would I think it would be different this time?

I only have this single moment right now in my reality. I will make choices today that will bring me closer to my goals. There is no past and no future only this one moment.  

If you take small steps towards getting healthy  you will eventually reach your goals. 

3. I can't afford it. 

We live in a world of abundance we need only tune into the frequency. I know this may be hard to understand, but fretting about money will only prevent it from coming into your life. Say the affirmation every day as many times as you can throughout the day to begin to change your belief about money. 

"I choose abundance and properity in my life. Scarcity will no longer run my life."

Also again doing some exercise program outside with no equipment will cost you NOTHING! If you make up your mind there is nothing you cannot do.

4. I won't be able to keep up with the others. 

I need not compete with others. I am in control of my reality and I choose to be healthy. 

There is no competition in getting healthy. If starting a program with other people is too much for you to handle or simply just not your thing then find a way to do it alone or with ONE other person. Keep it simple. Go for a walk everyday with a close friend. This need not be complicated just get moving and take small steps. 

5. I can't do it I'm scared.

There is nothing to fear. I am only fearing the unknown, but there is no unknown there is only now. What can I do now that can move me closer to my goals? What is ONE thing I can do that is under my control that will make me feel accomplished today. 

6. I don't feel like exercising.

I look at exercising as fulfilling and energetic. I choose to feel good rather than lathargic. Feeling good would only promote more feeling good energy. I will continue to find an exercise program that I do enjoy and I will not let anything stand in my way of achieving my goals. 

There are so many ways to get exercise. You could take the kids out to the beach or for a walk. Take the dog out and throw the ball around and then race him to it. You could get a few friends together to play frisbee golf or a game of basketball. Dig deep you will find something that you get excited about. 

7. I'm too busy.

I am never too busy to get healthy. I would rather be healthy than be sick. I certainly do not have time for sickness in my life, therefore I choose to exercise and feel good. 

I hear this one all the time. Everyone gets 24 hours in a day it's what we do with this 24 hours that determines our reality. It may only take a few minutes to do some activity that will help you along your journey, you can even include others in your endeavor if you  have kids or other family members that are causing your busyness. 

8. I don't have anyone to workout with.

I have friends who are silently looking for someone too workout with too. I will find them and connect with them and get started immediately. I will let nothing or no one (or in this case the lack of someone) stop me. I will forge ahead no matter what.  

9. I don't have the energy.

I have abundant energy, as a matter of fact I am energy I am made only of energy and I know that once I start to exercise that my energy will only increase. I will let nothing stand in my way of achieving my goals. 

Exercise has many benefits and increase energy is one of them. Start small and regularly and see the differences in your energy level. Do not just quit if you are tired find the cause and find a the solution and keep going. 

10. I am sick all the time or I have pain that prevents me from working out.

I will see my Dr. asap and get a clearance to get started. Or I will take care of this pain and I will stop at nothing to rid myself of this pain so I can feel good. My first goal is to feel good. I will let nothing stand in my way. 

Make sure you get a Dr. clearance to perform an exercise program. And if you read anything in this blog read this. *The body can heal itself with the right frame of mind. You can accomplish ANYTHING with the right mindset. 

11. I don't know what to do.

I am an empty vessel waiting to be filled with knowledge. I will gain the right about of information to start my program. I will just start walking for now until I have other information to workout on my own. I want to get strong and lose weight without injury I will be patient and start anyway.

There are many videos on this site that can help you get started. There are plenty of people who are available to help you get started. Do not hesitate to ask if you need help. 

12. My family will become jealous, especially my husband. 

I love myself enough to start anyway. I am the one who lives inside this body and I will let nothing or no one stand in my way. I will find the support I need to continue on this journey. Maybe even my husband will join me and we can build our relationship.

Everyone needs to have support when starting an exercise program. If your spouse can't be that person then I encourage you to find another family member or a friend that will motivate and encourage you. It will make it much easier along the way. 

13. I'm too old. 

I am never too old to start. I will cut years off of my life if I become healthier. I will go start easy and as I build muscle strength I will turn up the heat. I will not let my age deter me from getting healthy. 

14. It's boring. 

Only boring people get bored, and I am an exciting person. I will find something fun for me to do to get healthy. There are numerous ways to getting in shape and I will stop at nothing to find the right program for me. 

There are literally thousands of ways to get into shape. This is only an excuse. Do not let excuse run your life any longer. 

15. I have kids.

My kids deserve to feel good too. I will include them when I can in my exercise program. I want to teach them that exercise can be fun and give them the tools for when they get older to take care of their bodies as well. I will not let having kids keep me from my destiny.

If they are too young then bringing them along in a stroller will work just as well. 

16. I'm too fat.

I am perfect in every way. If I feel I am unhealthy I will take the correct action to move me in the direction goals. Fat is only stored energy and I plan to use up that storage for fun and exciting activities. I deserve to be fit and healthy and feel good. 

Just get moving. Start a walking program to start burning through that fat storage and once you feel strong enough you may want to start something more challenging. But you will do that once your ready. 

17. I'm thin already.

I will stop at nothing to make sure I am taking care of my body. Even if I am thin already I will make sure I am eating enough and getting enough exercise to maintain my current weight and make sure the inside of my body is just as healthy as I look from the outside. 

18. I don't want to be a gym rat. 

I will do anything it takes to get healthy and if the gym is not for me I will find something that works. I will join a safe, supportive, fun, friendly atmosphere to workout in perhaps ONE Ultimate Health has a boot camp just like this.

19. It will take a long time.

All I have this is very moment. I live in the present and will let nothing stand in my way of getting healthy. 

How long from now is your next birthday if you don't start to get healthy? How long is your next birthday if you do start to get healthy? Which would you rather have a healthy body to live in or continue to live in the one you have?

 I am sure you can come up with many more excuses and if you would like post them here and I will help you come up with an affirmation to rid yourself of these excuses and help you reach your full potential. Because you deserve to feel good and have the life you want to attract.

Til next time be at PEACE. 

Tuesday
Jan102012

Change Your Reality: Success

Now it's time to put it all together and create a tool we can use for any area of our life that we want to succeed in. We can also evaluate where others are in their journey towards success and maybe lend a helping hand to move them along. 

After reading this series can you tell where you are in the levels? Are you understanding what you are trying to accomplish on an Intelligent level but you don't Believe it yet? Are you believing it but can't seem to get the Behavior to adjust to this new way of thinking therefore Success evades you?

To better help you fully understand these levels and how they can help you, we will take a common problem and push it through and see what happens.

INTELLIGENT:

The problem we will use as an example is a person who is overweight and wanting to lose 50lbs. This woman has been overweight her entire life. She realizes she needs to lose the weight. She discusses it all the time with her friends and family, as a matter of fact it's on her mind 24 hours a day at every moment. She knows that being overweight can lead to other health problems as well and making day to day living very difficult. She completely understands what she needs to do, but just can't seem to get the motivation to get started and carry it through until she reaches success. 

BELIEF:

Then one day on her way to work she drove through a fast food restaurant to get breakfast. While she sat waiting she saw a mother and her overweight son go into the restaurant. She thought for a moment and realized that this mother is teaching her son to become overweight and helping to make his life difficult. Her life was difficult as a child. The kids would make fun and call her names. But as a child she had no control (or so she thought) about her weight. As she sat there waiting for her food she began thinking about how good it would feel to be free from this burden. She would be able to climb the stairs at work and not feel out of breathe. She would no longer get "looks" from kids or other people when in public. She would be strong enough to carry in the groceries by herself. Then in an instant the lady at the window was calling to her to hand her her food. She politely took it with one look at the woman and smiled the largest smile ever! She immediately tossed the food into the garbage on her way out of the parking lot.  She gets it. She now has moved from Intelligence to Belief.  She goes to work smiling and singing all the way. She KNOWS now that she is done being overweight. She has the power inside of her to change this at any moment and she chooses today to make this change.

BEHAVIOR:

She parked across the parking lot at work and walked with energy and a "good morning" to everyone she saw. People were looking at her in disbelief because this was not her normal behavior. She didn't care. She was on the right track and had the right frame of mind to start her new health journey. When she got to her desk she immediately called her friend to see about partnering up with her to join a boot camp (oh comon you didn't think she was going to a gym did you?) Her friend read somewhere that this boot camp offered all the things necessary to get healthy from personal development (getting over fears and keeping the motivation to creating supporting relationships) to nutrition and a great exercise program. She hung up with her friend and called ONE Ultimate Health. She joined that day. She was well on her way to achieving success. She knew now that these 50lbs were going to melt off and there was no stopping her. She had to change her behavior to comply with her new goals. She went out to lunch bought a brand new water bottle and filled it. She ate a salad with minimal dressing and grilled chicken. She never felt better. Her excitement was contagious. Her co-workers were curious to know what happened. As she began sharing her morning story they understood more about her and rather than critisizing her they told her that they would help out in any way they could. In a instant her world was turned around and she had support all around her.

SUCCESS: 

She joined the boot camp and her friend became a huge supporter. They were well on their way to reaching their goals. She took in all the educational tools that were offered, knowing that they would benefit her somehow, if not today then someday. She reorganized her kitchen at home and began shopping for better whole foods. Her home life was full of excitement and happiness. Even though she was not done, she knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time before success was upon her. She had the motivation to keep moving forward and she had that mother and her son in the fast food parking lot to thank. They were her motivation to get started and never quit no matter what.

So when you feel the desire to take action instead of just talking about it, create the right environment for your success. Find the right supporters, get a friend to join you, purchase healthier foods, stop going through the drive-through and commit to doing something everyday. You will succeed it's only a matter of time and what else you got going on. ;)

Success is yours whenever you want it. You only got to want it. And I have ONE question for you.

Do you?

 

Other Related Topics:

Change Your Reality

Part ONE: Intelligence

Part 2: Belief

Part 3: Behavior

Part 4: Success!

Tuesday
Jan102012

Change Your Reality: Behavior

Most of you know that I have an adopted son named Robert, he goes by Bob. When he was 16 he moved in with me through the foster care system. He has been placed in several foster homes throughout his life since the age of three. He really has gone through a lot and we have a lot to learn from him. He really is a great kid and has a lot of potential. 

Through all his moving around he has lost a lot of his academia. He apparently suffers from ADD, but who doesn't? I don't necessarily believe in ADD to the degree that we as a society medicate, but that's for another blog.

Bob has difficulties "remembering" and being motivated to do his homework therefore he fails a lot of his classes. During the first trimester, of his 10th grade year, we had several conversations about the importance of him getting his homework completed and turned in. If he failed his classes he would have to take them again and possibly put him behind for graduating on time. He would politely listen and nod as if he was going to make some changes but as you can guess nothing happened. 

If I sat with him at the table he would do it, finish it and turn it in. However I could not get him to do it on his own. I wanted him to learn a very valuable lesson, so it was time for some tough love. 

I stopped reminded him to get it done, since he knew it was missing and that if he didn't get it done he would eventually fail this class and have to retake it. He understood this on an Intellectual level, but he did not Believe it to the extent to change his Behavior and give him the Success that he wasn't aware he wanted until today. 

The list of missing assignments was growing longer and longer. He failed three classes and was upset that he had to retake them. Of course this conversation led to much frustration and anger on his part and he did try to blame me for NOT nagging him. =)

Ok fast forward to the next year, his junior year in high school. He comes home one day from school with his senior schedule in his hand. He tells me I have to help him fill this out for tomorrow (nothing like waiting until the last minute). We sat down at the table and started to talk about what his guidance counselor had told him and what classes he needed to take in order to graduate. 

It didn't take long for frustration and BELIEF to set in. He was not starting to really understand what I had been telling him all along. The more we talked about this schedule the more he realized or BELIEVED that failing classes was going to hinder him from graduating on time. He now realized that he could not take any fun classes due to failing last trimester and he needs to use those time slots to complete those failed classes again. 

He understood me last year on a level of comprehension but he did not believe me yet. He had to experience some pain first. Failing a few more classes and the feeling of running out of time was the trick. He now thinks he may not graduate on time due to his past decisions. Hmm a lesson being learned here? I think so. 

Now some of you may be upset with me about how I handled this, but I am a firm believer in EMPOWERING others not enabling them. Enabling does NOTHING for the soul except make us dependant on others instead of ourselves to accomplish greatness in our lives. 

Let's take for instance if I would have continued to nag Bob to get him homework done.Yes he would have passed his classes. Yes he would have probably been able to take some fun classes his senior year, but what lesson was learned? That he could not accomplish it on his own. I would have then engrained in him that he would always need someone there to "nag" him to get things done. The chance for this valuable lesson would have been lost. 

It is completely up to him now to make the choices necessary to make sure he graduates on time. Thus resulting in a higher self esteem that at the end of the day he did it himself. If he doesn't do the work he will not win the prize.

Now today he is sensing the reality he has created by not taking the initiative in the first place. He is in the learning stages and at the beginning stage of the Behavior level. The most important thing at this point of the lesson is for Bob's behavior to change. In order for this lesson to be completed he would see his mistake by not taking the time to work on his homework or taking passing seriously and make some other choices in his future. 

Over the next few days I will either see this new behavior take shape or not.  He may accomplish the work during the school day instead of talking to his friends or he may complete it at home before turning the TV on.  Those two things would be the action taken by him so as to not feel the pain of not graduating on time. 

On the other hand his behavior may not change at all. He may continue to watch TV and talk to his friends during class time. Then my question would be how many more classes will he have to fail in order to learn this lesson?

Frustration is our bodies letting us know it's either time for us to make a change in our current reality or to learn a lesson. 

The question remains how much more suffering do you need in order to change your behavior? It is your behavior that led to this reality and the frustration you are feeling. If you want the frustration to go away you need to make some changes in your behavior either long or short term. 

If you are suffering look deep inside and figure out what your body needs you to do. Is there something you need to change? Or is there a valuable lesson here waiting for you to learn? 

Once you figure this out then take immediate action steps to move to the behavior stage. Take some action to get you motivated. Are you wanting to lose weight and are constantly frustrated with yourself and your eating habits? Then I would say it's time for a change. You may need to sign up for a class or rearrange the extra bedroom for a gym area. Take the steps necessary to plan your meals carefully as to not make unhealthy choices. With any change will come a learning opportunity. You may need to learn about nutrition or gain some insight about planning meals properly for you and your family. 

If you are feeling frustrated then it may be time to look deep inside and make a change in your life. Be thankful for this frustration and take the necessary steps to move through this and onto success. 

Related Blogs: 

Change Your Reality

Part ONE: Intelligence

Part 2: Belief

Part 3: Behavior

Part 4: Success!

Tuesday
Jan102012

Change Your Reality: Belief

If you have already read Change Your Reality: Intelligence then let's move to Belief if not I would advise you read the Intelligence blog first.

What you believe about your reality is either limiting you and your success or it is propelling you forward. Which is it? You can tell by looking at your current reality and seeing if there is success at each point of your life. 

For the sake of looking closer at our belief system let's use losing weight or getting healthy as our example. You can ask EVERY overweight person in America what it takes to lose weight. They all know the answer. It takes eating healthier and moving their body. Then my question to you is as well as them, why are there so many overweight people in this country and still those numbers continue to grow? I want you to think about your answer for a minute. If you are one of those people then really think about it.

Why are you still overweight. Without giving excuses as to why you can't get to the gym or buy healthier foods what is it really? Dig deeper. Think about the title to this blog. Why do you feel you are not in shape yet? 

You understand what it would take. you know you should be eating better. You know you should walk or run more. But why don't you?

Because deep down you don't believe you have what it takes, or it will be too difficult to achieve such success that you make excuses as to why you can't have it or why you don't "want" it. How many people have you had lunch with who order something deep fried and supersized and with a Diet Coke say to you, "I know I shouldn't be eating this" but they do anyway and continue to complain about their weight. 

If you have read the Power Process  you know that you must first make a decision to start. You make that decision based on your desire for something better. You feel powerful in that decision you just made. You may even feel inspired like you could take on the world. 

Then you start to think about what it's going to take to achieve the weight loss. You think about what you need to do to start eating better. That may mean more trips to the grocery store, getting your spouse and children to also start eating right, spending more money and then putting a plan in place to help you continue on this path. That sounds like it would be too much work. The same goes with moving your body. I would have to take time out of my day for exercise, who would do it with me, I don't want to workout in a gym and the list goes on and on.

We all have a belief system about every area of our lives. The more empowering the belief the more successful we are in that area. Take money for instance. If you have a lot of money and never have to worry about where your next paycheck is coming from then I would say you have an empowering belief about money. 

If you take another area of your life where you have little success then you have a disempowered belief. You believe that getting healthy is going to be hard then it will be. You will find yourself in constant resistance. You want to get healthy but you also know (or think you know) that it will be hard, so you resist.

I am asking you today to look at the belief you have about whatever it is you want to achieve. Do you have an empowering belief or a disempowered belief about it? What if you were to not only work within that belief system, meaning taking action towards your goal but also to work ON your belief system itself. 

What would happen if you told yourself that it would be easy to lose weight, find a new job or move from this dying relationship? What might happen if you said that by letting this old belief go you might just open the doors to new opportunities for that success to come to you easily? 

What we believe about ourselves may or may not be true but we believe it to be true which makes us feel locked in to our lives and there is nothing we can do about it. We may believe that getting healthy is a daunting task and we may never get there. I have suffered from this belief more times that I care to count in my lifetime, and at the time of writing this I am only 39. Belief is VERY powerful and changing those beliefs can be the catalyst that jump starts your life into a direction of health and happiness.

If we choose to believe that working out is difficult then it will be difficult. If we think that we will never make it to our happy place then we won't make it. Do you see where I am going with this? We must first decide to get healthy. Then we must take the time to find the education that we will implement into our plan then believe it will work. If our plan doesn't seem to be working once we wholeheartedly take action then we can always revamp our plan and try something else. 

But if you start a new plan and have an attitude that it will never work you are only sabotaging yourself. You will never find success that way. You must believe that you can achieve this goal and work and course correct until you find success and NEVER stop until you reach that goal. If you stop you will not reach it, if you believe you will fail you will not reach it, if you let others deter you you will not reach it. If you continue to believe it will be hard you will not reach it. 

So let's take a moment and find out what your belief system is.  What are your goals? What is the one thing that you truly would like to see different in your life? What do you believe about that goal? Do you feel you deserve it? Can you see yourself with the goal? How does it feel? What did you have to do to get there? What had to change in your thinking for you to achieve this goal? Do you fully understand what it will take to reach your goal?

We all have a belief system that we use to decide our daily reality. We believe we must stay in our unhealthy unhappy relationships for the kids. We believe we must keep going to the same job we hate because we would be without money if we quit. We believe that our kids behave like that due to their personality. Our beliefs can be somewhat limiting. 

What if we left our unhealthy relationship? Would we ever find true love? How many times have you heard a young teen say they will NEVER find another who will love them. And what do we say? Oh honey there are other fish in the sea. But if we stay in that dead marriage we will NEVER even give ourselves the chance to meet those other fish. 

What would happen if we left the job we hated?  We might light up our inner courage and creativity and decide to go to work for ourselves. We may just allow another door to open that would bring us happiness in making money. But if we stay will we never find out.

What would happen if we connect with our inner child and teach our children to play and take responsibility without dictating their every move. What if we allow children to BE? What might happen? We may just create the right environment for them to be the next Einstein or Mozart. But if never try we will NEVER know. 

We bring fear into our lives and allow this fear to dominate our belief system. I have had 29 jobs starting at the age of 19 until 36. That's 29 jobs in 17 years. All of these jobs had their ups and downs. Mostly downs since I don't have them anymore. All from working at Subway as a sandwich artist, to selling cars, a gym teacher, a fitness coordinator, and even a sign language interpreter. I have also made, cooked and cut pizza, waited tables and even worked overnight at Toys R Us stocking shelves for Christmas.

What was missing from these jobs? I hated working for someone else. It only took 29 jobs and 17 years for me to believe I could have something more and venture off on my own.  A couple of these jobs actually helped me get to where I am today. Actually I can say all of them had a hand in it. Since I wouldn't be here if I only had one job. Because then I wouldn't have had the same experiences. But there were a few that gave me the right experiences or the right training to help me have the self confidence to do what I am doing today.

How long are you going to wait? We can start working on those belief systems right now and launch you into success. Ask yourself what would be the worst that would happen if you left this marriage? Or left this job or even relaxed your parenting style a bit? Do you need more education, experiences or courage? Maybe all three. 

If it could be worse then it can definitely be better. As we get into the behavior section we will talk about why we need to change our beliefs and what we can do about it to make some significant changes in our lives. 

So my challenge to you is to work ON your belief system and also work in it. Take the necessary action steps (within the belief system) to move towards your goal as well as what you believe it will take. Beliefs are choices. What you believe about your goal is merely a choice. I challenge you to change what you believe and see what opportunities arise from it. 

Say to yourself "I believe I am going to be/do/have _________________ (goal) and I believe it is going to be easy and effortless for me to achieve it and the path is going to be clear." Then let us know what opportunities arrise for you. Be open and aware. You will be amazed at how well this works for you. 

Til then be at Peace!

Other Related Blogs:

Change Your Reality

Monday
Jan092012

Change Your Reality: Intelligence

Everyone knows or has their idea of what intelligence means. Here when I mention the word intelligence I mean a way to understand something on a level that you can understand. I know that sounds a bit redundant let me explain. Take for instance when you are speaking to a teenager and you tell him the importance of not drinking and driving he understands you on an intelligent level. He knows what you are saying. But when he is at a party and he and his friend have been drinking and they get pulled over by the police and they spend the night in jail. He now not only understands what you were talking about but believes what you said on a much deeper level. 

Before we can change our reality we must first begin to understand what we need and what we need to become in order to achieve that goal. We must "get it" on an intelligent level.

When I was younger I had a victim "poor me" mindset. People did not like me and did not want to be around me, frankly I didn't want to be around myself. When people would tell me that I had a bad attitude and needed to change that, I totally understood them, on an intelligence level. But what I didn't understand was what to do about it. That was the piece of the puzzle they didn't tell me. 

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was overweight and they constantly talk about how they "know" what to do to lose the weight? Well then why don't they do it? Why do they continue to suffer and do nothing with this information? Why aren't they taking action? There could be any number of reasons. 

1. They really don't know what to do to lose the weight but they want you to believe they are in control and can change any time they want to.

2. They haven't made the decision to change yet. 

3. They don't believe that if they did make that decision they would be successful.

4. They are afraid of failure, because if they try they may be embarrassed to not succeed. So it's better to not try at all.

Let's begin by saying they don't know what to do. In order for us to even begin to make a change in our life we must first gather up information necessary to move us in the right direction. This is the level of Intelligence. We must KNOW what to do before we can do it. We cannot skip this step without screwing things up. That would be like jumping out of the plane before we knew how to pull the rip cord. 

In the other blog titled Identity Shift I begin to express what it means to change your mindset to achieve your success in any area. We must first change our understanding of what it would take to reach our goals. We cannot achieve a deeper level of success by the same way of thinking. We must also change our thinking. We cannot reach a positive goal with a negative mindset. 

If you want to make significant changes you must first understand what needs to be changed in the first place and get that "education". If you want to lose weight but don't have foggiest idea on how to do that, that is where you start. You find out how and what would work best for you to lose the weight. 

We are in the information age and we have access to thousands and thousands of articles, websites and eBooks that can help you get started. I would recommend that you first find a tool that works for you. Whether it be a book, a website, article or a person to help decide what information you need to get started.  What is best for someone else may not be best for your success. You may have to dig deep and find the right tools for you. 

If you are to lose weight you must first gain the knowledge of how you are to do this. Are you going to get a gym membership or join a boot camp? Or a personal trainer? And what type of exercise are you going to do and who might you do this with. This is all setting the stage for your success. Gathering all intel first before you jump. Now if you are like me you might gather and gather and gather but never jump. This is the wrong idea. I have done that for years. It's like reading a book about riding a bike but never actually getting on the bike. You must gather as much information as you can THEN get on the bike.

My homework for you is to decide which goal you are going to work towards then gather all the information necessary for you to learn and to propel yourself forward towards your goal.

We will dig much deeper into this topic in the next blog titled Change Your Reality: Belief.

Til then Be at Peace! 

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Monday
Jan092012

Change Your Reality

Your reality is what you make it. I am sure you have heard of The Law of Attraction. Well it's true. If you believe it or not doesn't matter. If you take a look at your life right now as it is you will see how most of the things in your life came about. They all started with a single thought. 

You just got a new job? Congratulations! However that job didn't just come out of nowhere you thought about it first You wanted a new job, you wanted to quit your old job or you wanted to make a difference in the lives of people you work for. Either way this started a series of chain reactions to your single thought. You all of a sudden were getting in trouble at work, you just couldn't seem to get the job done like you used to. Your boss was picking on you weekly. You were starting to not feel right. The change is occuring. The new reality if coming about. 

Thoughts are VERY powerful. And if you don't control them they will own you. They will continue to create your life in the background without you being completely aware of it. How would you like to be the creator in your life? Create the life of your dreams simply by thinking about it? 

I know, I don't always want to control my thoughts every second of everyday either, but there is an easier way. It's called DOMINATING YOUR THOUGHTS.

What you think about most comes about. If you are a pessimistic person you will have more negative in your life. If you are more optimistic you will probably enjoy life more. You do not need to control all of your thoughts, just most of them. =)

This Change Your Reality series will be written in four blogs. This way you will be able to digest it much easier. 

The four titles are: Intelligence, Belief, Behavior and Success.

We will dig pretty deep into these to really assess where you are and how you can change your current reality. I have been trying to figure this out for many years and it wasn't until recently that I found a way that helps change reality rather quickly. But we much first figure out where you are and how we can get you ready for this change.

We can all want different lives and different things to happen in our lives but wanting alone is not enough. Wanting only creates more want.

In the next blog I will begin to show you the way to take control of your thoughts and how you can begin to make those adjustments to your life.

Let's get started!

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Wednesday
Jan042012

How to Achieve Any Goal

G.O.A.L.S. 

Get a goal

Organize your environment to suit the goal

Action taken daily

Look at your progress

Stop and enjoy your Success!

“Good intentions may be an appropriate starting point for achievement, but they will go nowhere unless you follow through with action. Many people confuse intentions with achievement; after all, it is the idea that is most important, they reason. In reality, the most mediocre idea acted upon is far more valuable than a flash of genius that resides only in your mind. Developing the habit of action may be difficult at first, but the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. “ Napolean Hill

Setting the goal is easy. Thinking about your goals is easy. But taking action is sometimes very hard. It can be the changing of habits that's the hard part. For instance losing weight can be so difficult for some people. That means changing habits and it may mean changing a lot of habits. You may have to get up earlier to exercise or shop differently to select healthier foods or even work on your attitude. Either way taking action can be very difficult. Sometimes it's not the changing of behaviors that's the most difficult for some. It can be that you just don't know what action steps to take. Like starting a new business. There are so many ways to start a business what do you need to do next and is it in your scope of skills ans talents?

When I started my business I had no skills whatsoever when it came to starting a business. I had ideas falling out of my head as to what to do with my clients and what things I wanted to do with them for fun. But as for the business part I had no idea. I was very frustrated. I knew what I wanted and what my goals were, but I had no idea how to get there. But taking action was better for me than not doing anything at all. So let's start there.

Have you ever wanted a goal so bad you could see yourself accomplishing it but just didn't seem you were getting any closer? Were you frustrated that no matter what you did you just couldn't achieve the results you were looking for? Here is what I have found that worked for me.

Here's an acrynom that may help you. G.O.A.L.S.

G is for Goals. At least you should set ONE. Set any goal that you deem worthy enough for your time and effort.

O is for organizing your area to help you achieve this goal. This one is my favorite. This helps create the momentum to keep going.

A. Action Action Action. Like Napolean says in the quote above unless you take action it only stays in your head. What good is it to anyone in there? The idea is more than half the process but if you don't get it out it's a waste.

L. Look at your progress for more confidence. If you are not making progress it's time to reevaluate your steps and maybe make a new plan of action.

S. Stop and enjoy your Success

We are going to get into these a bit deeper to really help you get started and better yet get finishing your goals.

But first I wanted to suggest something in case you were not ready to take action on your goals yet.

I wrote a blog titled “What do you want.” This will help you obtain clear and worthy goals.

OK let's get started with setting the goal. G is for get a goal. What do you want? Let's start with a simple but popular goal like losing weight. There are many reasons why one gains weight but why do you want to lose weight? Is this goal for you and you alone? It's just fine if it's for you and no one else. But if it's only for someone else than it will likely remain their goal and there won't be any amount of action you can take that will change that. Because this goal is not worthy enough for you. If its your husband that tells you you need to lose weight and you think he's full of it, then this goal will most likely not get achieved. But if you are overweight and want to feel better, sleep better and have more energy to do those things with your family while feeling good then we are on to something.

Great now we are on to something. You have decided that this goal is for you. It may also be for others to benefit from, but it's mostly for you.

“Motivation can only come from inside if the end result is something we truly want.”

Let's set our goal to lose 20 lbs. Now what? Let's move on to O.

O is for Organizing your environment to suit your goals. What the heck does that mean? Let's say you have 3 kids all of whom are active in their lives which keeps you busy and unable to plan effectively for your health and your goals. Once that motivation hits that you want to lose 20 lbs you must hurry and do something to keep that motivation going. Well what most don't know is that motivation is short lived. It only lasts a few days and for some only a few hours.

When I started my business in the very beginning I had motivation for long periods of time until I came to road block where I didn't know what other actions steps to take. At that point all the motivation left my body.

Here is what I am suggesting for your next step in organizing your environment. Once that motivation hits immediately change your surroundings to fit your new goal and to help shift your momentum once the motivation stops. For example. Once you are motivated you might get rid of all the sugary snacks in the house and purchase more fruit and natural fruit juices. The kids will benefit from this as well.

Secondly you might join a class with a friend to help hold you accountable and make it fun! I know a real cool boot camp that is a lot of fun if you live in Traverse City Michigan. ;)

You can start getting up earlier to hit the gym or your own treadmill to do 25 minutes of cardio in the morning. You can dedicate a day of the week to plan you week as far as eating goes. You can pack the lunches including your own lunch so eating out is not an option. You can also go a step further and dedicate that money saved from eating out and use it for another cause. You can donate it. You could use it purchase exercise equipment for your home gym. Be creative this is your goal and you know yourself enough to know what might work for you.

Take a quick look at why you are overweight in the first place. Once you find those answers then you can set use this step effectively. Be honest with this question. No one is going to achieve this goal for you. You must be the one to take action so being honest with yourself is vital to your success.

Ask questions like. Do I really want this goal? When I think about it do I get excited or do I get angry? What is going to be the toughest part of reaching this goal and how can I overcome that? What creative way can I reach this goal to make it fun and rewarding for myself? Then put this plan into...

ACTION! ACTION! ACTION!

“A goal without action is only a dream.”

Now that you have created motivation and used that to change your environment you now have some momentum to carry you through once the motivation has subsided. Action creates confidence not the other way around. Action also creates more action.

My first goal for the new year was to get up earlier to write. I started this new years resolution during Christmas break. I am still doing it and feel very accomplished. I can have 5 blogs written before lunch and usually before my teen wakes up. :)

In the beginning I was a bit excited to get up early to try my new found motivation. I set the alarm and I thought about what I was going to do the next day. But besides setting the alarm every day I also organized a space in the basement to work. It's very quiet and calming so I can think. It's darker and I found a way to keep it warm. I also have a sliding door so I can look outside to be inspired. It has worked very well for me so far.

Now I did notice that this motivation left me in a short amount of time. So if I didn't take that energy early on to set up my room in the basement and organize my day this blog may never have gotten written. So I encourage you to do the same and use that on set of motivation to get organized to taking action after will be easier.

It's not easy but easier to take action. This goal is important to me and my family. I got organized early and am still taking action and getting more and more excited about reaching my goal which launches me into further action.

So if your organized then it's time to take action. And in our goal of losing 20 lbs I would highly recommend you take action daily. It doesn't have to be the same action over and over again if that would bore you to tears. You can change it up and get creative. Maybe one day you use the treadmill while watching your favorite movie. The next is walking the dog with the kids. Then going to the gym with your friend for your boot camp class. ;) Yoga on Thursday and Friday you ride your bike up that large hill a couple miles from your house. Remember to take the camera so you can get the picture from the top and post to Facebook to help motivate your friends.

Onto step number four. The L stands for look at your progress. We want to make sure you are on the right track. We must look at how far we have come and see if we are going the right steps. Did you set up the right environment? Are you eating the right foods? Have you cheated on your plan at all? Only you will know that answer. Did you say you got up early to run on the treadmill but in reality you slept a bit longer? Being honest with yourself is very important. If you catch yourself cheating on your goal then I would advise you ask again if this goal is that important to you.

Lets say you have made some progress in a couple of weeks but not like what you had hoped. You are losing interest or momentum and getting frustrated. Taking a look at your progress is going to be helpful. Maybe the weight came off rather quickly because you hit the ground running literally. But maybe now your body has made all the adaptations it's going to make and you have hit a plateau.

For those who don't know what plateau is, it's a place in one's life where no more results are gotten due to the body or mind adapting to its furthest extend. If you have not reached your goal then it's time to take another look at your action plan and readjust.

Lets say you only lost the first 10 lbs. Now what can you do to get those last 10? I would suggest you change your routine a little. If you are losing and not gaining mind you. If you are gaining then the steps might be different. This means you may still be overeating, or not getting enough exercise to combat the calories you are putting in. but if you have not gained and only lost then these are the next steps.

Redo this plan. Now the goal is to lose 10 lbs. What can you do to organize your environment? What other things can you do that would further your body adaptations? Is there a different class you can take? Another hill you can ride? Or you simply up the ante. Can you ride further? Take two classes back to back? Are your calories in line with your body weight? Meaning are you eating too much or too little to lose the extra 10 lbs? Can you start running where you were only walking before? How about some intense interval training? There are many solutions to this problem. Be creative and look at the problem to solve the solution. And my last little bit of advice for this section is whatever you do DON'T QUIT. If this goal IS indeed important to you then quitting is NOT an option, tweaking is. 

And lastly if you have tweaked and taking the necessary steps this shouldn't come as any surprise to you, but Stop and enjoy your Successes.

At this point I would take the time to breathe in my success and enjoy the hard work I have done to reach it. You can also reward yourself for your success. I wouldn't recommend a doughnut as a reward at this point but something that you see as positive and in line with your end result. Perhaps you go shopping and truly enjoy purchasing smaller sizes. Or being able to wear the outfit that you didn't deem appropriate before.

 Just like praising our kids for behavior we wish to see more of, we are doing the same thing here with ourselves. We may not get it from the external world, but we can certainly give it to ourselves. Maybe even setting this up in the beginning would help add some motivation to the action steps. If you reach your goal you will spend X amount of money shopping for new clothes. Or take yourself on a trip to show off your new body. You have to decide what reward will work for you. But keep it in perspective that this is an added bonus not the goal itself. 

I hope this blog can help you push yourself to newer heights and reach ANY goal you deem worthy of your time and efforts.

Til next time. Be at peace!  

Other Related Blogs:

What's Your Carrot

When Your Journey Becomes Clear

New Years Resolutions (Make Them Stick)

6 Ways to Beat the Exercise Funk

Getting What you Want

Monday
Dec192011

Dealing with Fear

Today I sit writing this article in hopes to help change my own mindset. I am full of fear and stress as I try to pay bills with not enough money. Even though money is coming in and for that I am thankful, it’s not enough to cover my current expenses. I want to figure all this out. I have never been good at managing money. In desperation I have read so much on manifesting, meditation, taking action, motivation, courage and fear and feel much more at peace on the inside but my external reality is taking a long time to catch up. Why is that?

What am I missing? There has got to be a piece to the puzzle that is missing for me and I am bound and determined to find out. Please come along with me during this series of articles while I go through some exercises and action steps to cure my money issues. We all have them from time to time and I believe that we can cure all of our issues with patience and the right tools.

Fear can be so debilitating at times, or it can help you forge ahead in the areas of our lives that need attention.  If we are feeling anxious about something that usually means we are neglecting an area of our life that needs our attention. Think of it this way, if you are neglecting your garden how does it look after 2 weeks of being unattended? It looks pretty bad. It’s full of weeds and maybe even evidence of other animals taking care of it for you. So what is the solution? What would happen if you were to give it attention? I don’t mean take out the clippers and the lawn mower and go to town. I mean love and attention. You could create a wonderful garden that even your gnome would enjoy. =)

If you are living in angst about your marriage does it need more attention? Maybe if giving the good kind of attention that can reconnect two people who were in love at one point? Or maybe it’s time to let the relationship go in order to make room for another healthier relationship. Whatever the area of your life that you are feeling fear I am going to bet that your attention is required for its solution to occur.

I would like to try an experiment as I deal with this area of my life and this fear based reality I have incurred. I know that I have created this reality that I am currently feeling. I know that I can change it at any given moment in time. I just have to make up my mind and do so. I need the right tools, the right mindset and the right action steps to make this happen. I also need to find out where my attention is needed. Here is what I intend to do about it. 

Take a Deep Breath

Every time I feel this anxiety or fear I am going to take a deep breath and center myself. Fill my lungs deep with air and breathe out gently. This is going to calm my insides down so I can think clearly.  I will take this step as often as needed to regain my logical side and calm myself down.

During this process, if done correctly, I will find peace. Once I find peace I am able to solve problems and take action necessary to get out of this situation and start creating another reality that I want instead.

Find a Quiet Place to Meditate

After taking a deep breath I am going to go to a quiet place and meditate. This could be anywhere that is quiet and uninterrupted also someplace that I enjoy. Then I am going to ask how “Love” would solve this problem. Love is the center of us and as we allow the world to consume us we become fear based in our thinking. And in this fear we create our reality every day asking for more fear to come into our lives. We want to control our environment so much that we get frustrated at things that are not in our control or can’t see a solution to our problem that is something desirable.

Visit Your Past to Find Faith

During a time when you feel fear take some time to visit your past. There are only a few reasons I would suggest visiting your past and this is one of them. Why? To find faith! Looking in your past you can see things that have just worked out for the best that you were fearful of. Money, relationships, job change or emergency situations. Have they always worked out? Did they sometimes work out for the best even though you no idea how this could turn out in a good way? And now looking back you see that being afraid was silly. I know that some situations may occur that are not all peachy in the end, but most of the time the worst things we fear never come to fruition.

“Some of the worst things in my life never happened.” Mark Twain

Fear can conjure up some great events that will never take place in your life, but they would make a great story, as long as we can keep our perspective.

In most cases I feel fear when I do not know the outcome and can’t see the end result and or that end result that I do see is not something that I want to experience.  Like for instance when I can’t pay my bills on time, I immediately think I am going to lose my house. I can’t see how I am going to pay my bills. I jump up and down and let fear control my day and most of the night. I lay awake and dread the bill collectors. I try to find a solution only to come to the same result, I am going to lose my house. If I can just calm myself down I will see there are many solutions to my problem, but I have to get out of my emotional state and into a logical state to be able to see it.

Today I felt fear. Today I fear losing my house, getting the gas shut off, not being able to take care of my foster son, or losing my precious cell phone. As I went through these exercises I felt calmer and more logical though I still didn’t find an answer to my problem I will not give up. Because giving up is not the answer. Giving up will result in those things I fear. So therefore I must take action of some sort to change my current reality to something more pleasurable.

Other Related Blogs:

Dealing with Fear: Taking Action

Dealing with Fear: Writing

Dealing with Fear: Meditation

Dealing with Fear: Becoming Aware

 

 

Monday
Dec192011

Dealing with Fear: Becoming Aware

Today was a much better day. Not only did I concentrate on shifting my attention to that of abundance but also gratitude. I am very lucky to have a house, a warm bed and food to eat. There are some who are not so lucky to have those things. Today I worked hard on making that mental shift and staying in the right mindset all day.

Remember you have control of your mind and attitude. If you feel yourself slipping back into a negative tailspin then course correct. Do anything you can to get yourself back on track. Listen to your favorite song. Jump around and laugh out loud. Watch your favorite YouTube video that makes you laugh.

When I was younger in my early 20’s I got angry a lot. I would pitch a fit at almost anything that didn’t go my way. I wanted to control everything in my life. This was all fear based. Then one day I realized that that was not very productive and was costing me a lot of relationships. People did not like me and didn’t want to be around me. Of course this was justified. Even at the time I knew why. I wanted to change this about myself in a bad way. But the problem I was having is that when I would become emotional I would forget all the things I read that I thought would help me. But this one day I thought I would teach myself a new habit. When I was in this “mood” I would remember only one thing that then would remind me of some of the things that would help me regain my composure. And that thing was snapping my fingers. It might sound ridiculous but it worked and to me that’s all that mattered. You may find something else works better for you but that worked great for me.

When I was in that emotional state all I had to do was snap my fingers and that would remind me that I was in control and that I could get my emotions under control at any minute. This is what I am doing again when I am in the fear state. Fear and anger have something in common. They are both emotions. They can cause us to stop dead in our tracks and forget to act on what’s important and only to react to the current situation. They can both be debilitating, unless we learn to take control of our current state and remind ourselves that we can turn it around at any time.

Find a gentle reminder that will work for you. You are welcome to use snapping your fingers if it will work for you. Or you can find something else. It really doesn’t matter as long as it works. Then wait for the next time you are seemingly out of control and see what happens.

I remember when I first attempted this exercise and I was pleasantly surprised how well it worked. I was angry about who knows what and I was lying on my bed crying uncontrollably and then I remembered that I have control and snapped my fingers (don’t laugh) and I immediately stopped crying and regained my composure and became logical once again. It was an amazing feeling.

Feeling that sense of loss of control is not a fun feeling but the best thing is that you don’t have to feel that way if you don’t want to. The key is that it’s your choice. Once you truly understand this you will free your mind of ever having to endure such chaos.

During the day we encounter so many obstacles from the car not starting, the kids not cooperating, traffic and a crabby boss. But letting these things bother us will not help us in the long run. How do we not let this stuff bother us? That’s a very good question. I will answer that in three words, choose not to.

Keep those reminders handy for such occasions. We need tools for each day in order for us to keep moving towards our goals. I have to be reminded everyday that I am in control of my emotions and not necessarily the entire world around me. We can influence this world but not control it. Once we understand what is in our control we can make better decisions and let the other stuff work itself out.

Other Related Blogs:

Dealing with Fear

Dealing with Fear: Writing

Dealing with Fear: Meditation

Dealing with Fear: Taking Action

Monday
Dec192011

Dealing with fear: Writing

I have always used journals. I actually thought everyone did. They must have since no one was like me in the way I handled situations. People seemed much calmer and able to work through things much better than I ever thought I could.  I had many journals that were for different things. I used them take notes on books I read, questions I had, and things I was working on personally. I have always thought I was different and couldn’t talk to others about how I was feeling for fear of judgment or the fact that they just wouldn’t understand so I used paper instead. It helped me get clear and get answers.

I have never considered myself a writer and as a matter of fact some 25 years later I still don’t. I would like to one day but that’s another blog. =)

Writing about how you're feeling can be very productive. It can help you become more aware of what is setting you off. It can also be very helpful when you are looking for answers. It’s a way to communicate with your higher self and get the guidance you are seeking. Weather you believe in that or not is irrelevant. Call it whatever you want it’s a way to get answers to your situation and move through this current reality and get centered. 

When you are feeling fear or anger remind yourself that you are in control by whatever signal you choose to use. See the previous blog entry titled Dealing with fear: Becoming Aware to get a better idea of using signals. Then take out some paper and write down how you are feeling. Let the words flow from the pen or pencil. Don’t worry about penmanship or grammar just get the words out.  Ask any necessary questions to help you get answers. It’s ok if you don’t know what you are going to do. The answer will reveal itself to you at the right moment.

Picture yourself sitting quietly at your computer checking out pictures on Facebook when all of a sudden your computer crashes. You have no idea why this happened. You begin to feel agitated that you were enjoying your quiet evening and then WHAM you are now dealing with this nonsense.  You immediately think that you are going to have to call the computer tech in the morning and then make an extra trip during the day and pay $200 to take care of this, when you would rather just go get the hammer and take care of it yourself.

But then you remember that that is not going to solve the computer problem, though it would make you feel better. At least while you were tossing the computer out onto the front lawn you would be ridding yourself of the energy you are feeling. But now you have another problem.  The computer has broken the window and your neighbor is eyeballing you as to why your computer is resting on your hydrangeas. As soon as you come to from your vivid daydream you think of something. You can snap your fingers and regain control of this at any moment and make yourself feel better.

You decide to take me up on my advice and give it a try. It works wonders you do miraculously feel better and no one got hurt, especially the hydrangeas. Then you sit back down at your computer and realize that what had happened was it was running a virus scan and had to restart to fix the problem.

Every problem has a solution but when you are in an emotional state you cannot see it. The best things you can do are to calm down and find the answers, none of which equals a hammer.  

Other Related Blogs:

Dealing with Fear

Dealing with Fear: Taking Action

Dealing with Fear: Meditation

Dealing with Fear: Becoming Aware