Sometimes we get the most profound thoughts or ideas in our childhood. I think that is because we are still so innocent in our thinking and we have not been corrupt in our ways yet. I mean by our beliefs being changed by society to believe in a way that is very different from our youth.
We believe we can fly when we are young, until one day someone tells us that we can’t and for some reason we believe them. I always thought I could fly, actually I always felt I could. No matter what anyone told me it never changed that feeling deep inside that I was meant for something more.
I may not have taken action on my previous desires but I knew someday I would have the courage to do something with my life. And I am about to tell you just how I did that.
I grew up in a small town near Mt. Pleasant Michigan called Beal City, home of the Aggies. I’m sure you’re asking what the heck an Aggie is, but it’s basically a white Pegasus. They changed their logo since I was in school. But you get the idea. Either way I was an Aggie for all of my high school days.
I was a busy kid. I played basketball, volleyball, softball and ran track. When I was at home I would climb trees, ride my bike and go swimming. I have an older brother that would enjoy the outdoors with me. I can’t paint this perfect picture of how well we got along but for the most part we were active together. We lived in the country and spent most of our time outdoors.
Surrounding our large white farmhouse were corn fields to the west, wheat fields to the east and a large field to the north that didn’t grow much of anything. We spent a lot of time in all of these fields. We would kick the soccer ball high into the air in the corn field and the one who got there first would be the one to kick it next. That was fun, until one sunny day I lost my favorite blue sneaker while running after the ball and never found it. I think of it sometimes growing to the top of the highest stalk and ending up on someone’s dinner table covered in butter. I laugh every time I think of that.
My mom had it rough. She was single at the time of raising us. They divorced early; I was only a year and a half old. I know today that it was best. My mom did the best she could with what she knew. With us having very busy schedules, high demands and endless amounts of energy I’m thankful to get out alive. My mom knew just how to handle us and still find time to read to us at night and give us the best advice for when we got older and had kids of our own. I bet she loved thinking of us having energetic rug rats one day just for pay back. She’s funny like that.
I remember thinking one day that I didn’t want to grow up and have the same life as she was dealing with on a daily basis. I wanted more and I wanted my life to be full of joy and fun (energetic rug rats or not!).
One late afternoon after dinner, I was around 12 years old; I was sitting on top of our shed and thinking. I did this often while facing the west and watching the sun. The birds flew off to settle in for the night. I would just sit there and dangle my feet over the edge and stare out across the field. As the sun would set I told myself by the time it disappeared behind the trees I would have an answer to how I could make my life turn out great!
Most of those days I didn’t come up with the answer but it sure felt nice to sit there and contemplate how the many ways I would create the best life for myself. (Update: I made the mistake as you may have, that there is no ONE answer but a series of answers that help us pave the way)
Sometimes I would even stand up and make verbal suggestions to the corn stalks as they sounded like an audience in the breeze. They always laughed at all my jokes and listened intently as I spoke words of wisdom.
I remember saying out loud to myself this particular day, “there’s got to be a better way.” I admire my mom for what she did and how she raised me and my brother. She made mistakes as all parents do, but I know now without a doubt how much she loved us both. And to me that matters more than what she provided for us financially. Because if it wasn’t for her I would not be the person I am today!
I also remember thinking something that I never truly understood or spoke about until many years later in my late 30’s. I felt my life was like a video game, where unless someone was physically in my presence at that very moment they did not exist. My comparison to a video game is like this; you know how you play as a character in a game and the bad guys don’t come into existence until they come into view on the screen? That is how it felt to me.
As soon as my mom would leave for work she no longer existed except in my memory. What she told me about her day just became a new vision but it was never a part of my reality. I only took from it what I needed in my life and disregarded the rest. I could call into my life anyone I wanted at any given moment. I could call my mom on the phone and bring her into my reality when I needed her but otherwise she did not exist.
That may sound very bizarre to some of you, but this very reason is why I wanted to do this Life Series. I have been holding this information inside for a very long time and it's time now to let it go and share it with others. I have been on quite a journey in my 39 years of life and have learned so much. Life is so much bigger than we could ever imagine and I want to share with you what I have learned in hopes to inspire you as it has inspired me.
This series will put your beliefs to the test and if you know anything about me, I love to do just that. So if you are wanting to be inspired or wanting to challenge my ideas then please pull up a chair and let’s chat. Onward my friends to Life The Series.
Til then be at peace!