I sit again on the rooftop with negativity in my heart. I look out across the field and wonder, “there's got to be a better way.” No answer came to mind. No solution found its way to my thoughts. I sat there for what seemed like days only to climb down and continue living the life for then I thought was my destiny.
My school days were filled with bullying, teasing, name calling and countless acts of stealing from my locker. I didn't have many friends, certainly none my own age, my self-esteem suffered greatly and I was misunderstood. Mom worked a lot and I only got along with my brother as any one sister could. I felt more and more alone as I got older.
As I look back now on those days of sitting alone and “thinking” I knew that was the start of my lifelong journey. Because I always asked those kinds of questions, “why not me?” “Can it ever get better?” “There's gotta be a better way.” I was soon flooding with the answers. People came into my life that offered the advice, that I would never take until I was an adult. Books jumped off the shelves for me to indulge myself with. Which I began a new hobby right way. Reading became my hide away.
The first book that increased my habit of reading was “Don't let anger rule your life.” It has words in it that I have never heard put together before. For instance: You have a choice. You can choose anger or you can choose to think. Choose? Does that really mean I have a choice in my life? Huh? Can I change my life right now even though my circumstances are less than satisfactory? But then why are some of the people in my life NOT choosing to think? They are still angry and not happy.
I read all the time, sometimes 3-4 books at once (not reading them all at the same time, 'cause that would be incredible, but having up to 4 books going at one time). Once I realized that bookstores and the library were my best friends I would go there anytime I felt that something was just not right in my life.
I went through a number of bad relationships and wondered what in the world was wrong with me? I sifted through jobs like there was no tomorrow. (I do think I hold the Traverse City record for most jobs NOT getting fired from-30) It's not something I'm proud of, but I did gain a TON of experience from all those jobs that I continue to use today.
Relationship books continue to be my favorite to read, (and I have to say I am very good at building them), business success books are my next favorite, since I am currently working on becoming a stronger business woman. If and when I feel like things are rolling very smoothly I will finally pick up a book for pure enjoyment. Though that doesn't happen very often anymore. There are too many things in my life that are less than perfect so I continue to read about fixing those problems.
If I were to say to you, “You can make the choice right now to be completely happy with your current situation.” would you believe me? Could you let your mind wander around and start to THINK about things in your life and become happy? Can you currently list things that are good in your life? Can it be worse? If it can be worse then it can be better.
Let me tell you another secret. As you begin to ask yourself questions about how or what you can change answers will start to appear. Situations that you never thought were possible are becoming possible. I only tell you this because of my experience not because it was written in a book but because it works. It has worked for me for several years now. The trick is to ask. If you don't ask you don't get the answers. Go! Ask! Start your journey and hire your brain to work for you, not against you.